


Consequences

by thewhiterose3



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-05-19
Updated: 2011-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-19 14:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewhiterose3/pseuds/thewhiterose3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to 1. 24 Oia'i'o. They are team, they are ohana. They will prevail. Danny straightens up, starts the camaro, heads to the nearest coffee shop, gets provisions for Chin and himself. It’s going to be a long week and its time, time for Danny to do what he does best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first sight that assaults Danny when he arrives at the Governor’s mansion is Chin with a lieutenant’s badge leading a ninja-fied hand-cuffed Steve into the back of a police car. It jars his mind, stops it dead. There is so much, so much not right with that picture that he can’t even begin to fix it, hell describe it. Its Steve’s face that staves off the paralysis. His fucking emotive face that right now is a mixture of confusion and fear and desperation. Ninja, SuperSEAL, _Steve_ is not supposed to look like that. And then he’s off – questioning, challenging, berating Chin because he just can’t understand how his whole entire life went so fucking upside down so fucking fast.

After Chin fails to rise to the bait, doesn’t even let him in the car with them, leaves him at the scene still heaving and sputtering and just fucking lost, his brain decides to engage again. No governor, no Steve, no 5-0. Process. Kono’s in custody, Steve’s in custody, Chin’s back on HPD with authority. Engage brain, engage. Put the pieces together, make a plan. Plan. Plane. Shit, Rachel. Okay, so Rachel, Grace, Rachel’s pregnant, on a plane to Newark. He can do this. He can make it all work out, just gotta make a few calls.

The first call is to his mother. He and Rachel had told Grace that the reason she was packing so robustly and so quickly was for a surprise trip to see Danny’s side of the family, to spend the summer with them. They didn’t want to spring too much on her at one time. No more Stan, new baby, a family again, too much for an eight year old at one time. Hell, it was too much for him. He asked his mother to pick them up at the airport, told her what they’d told Grace, implied that Rachel’s marriage to Stan was on the rocks, asked her not to bring it up, give her a reprieve. Told her that Steve and Kono where in trouble, set up, and he couldn’t just leave them like that. The Williamses understood loyalty, partners, second and third families that didn’t involve blood. She got it. Told him to take care of Steven and Kono and Chin. Told him she’s elated to see little Gracie, would take care of everything. Started making summer plans right there over the phone when Danny had to remind her _Mah, crisis on my hands, love you, thank you, love you, but I gotta go._

The second call was to his sister Ann, thankfully he got her voicemail, telling her that Rachel and Grace were coming to visit, that he was tied up with a crisis at work, to rescue Rachel from their mother’s incessant planning sometime soon before one of them went crazy. Rachel had always liked Annie best of all his vast relations. His next call was to Rachel, who was still in flight. He left a lengthy voicemail - apologizing, telling her the bare minimum about Steve and Kono and the governor. Telling her about his mom and sister and everything he’d set up. Asking her not to give up on him just because the shit hit the fan and he couldn’t make it this time. Asking her to give him time to put the people who depended on him back together before he joined them, before they made anymore decisions. Asking her to let the story they told Grace to be the truth for just awhile, just a little while until they could figure it all out together.

Crisis numero uno averted, well postponed anyway. Now, on to crises two through eighty-five. One step at a time. Step one, text Chin. _I am truly, deeply sorry. I, just, Steve. How can I help?_ Danny hits send, knows that wasn’t coherent, knows it isn’t anywhere in the vicinity of enough to make up for the filth he spewed at a member of his ohana, turns the camaro toward HPD. He gets a reply almost immediately, pulls off to the side to read it. _Understand, brah. Come to HPD, you’ve already been assigned to my team._

Danny is simultaneously so deeply relieved and overcome with guilt that all he can do is press his head more deeply into the steering wheel for a moment. Chin has it all together. Is fixing it as they speak. Has made it so a member of their team is in charge, has legitimate cause to investigate, is working the system. For all his talk, Danny is not the one who reacted inside the box, inside his beloved rules, nope, he tried to manhandle Steve out of custody, take jurisdiction like he had the divine right to do so. You’re a cop, be a cop, Daniel. You’ve got this. You can do this. Steve’s always been the mid-crisis guy. The one to jump into, start, the firefight and when the smoke cleared and the building collapsed, he’d be right there with that stupid grin on his face, that puppy dog look that says, _look, did you see? Did you see what I did? Isn’t it awesome? Aren’t I awesome?_ And then its Danny’s turn, Danny’s turn to pick up the pieces, deal with the aftermath, verbosely detail the consequences that Steve still didn’t understand his actions had.

So now, now its time for Danny to do his thing. The fucking dust has settled and Steve is being charged with murder, Kono is being charged with grand larceny. Chin has given them the power, the right to fix this within the system. They can do this. They are team, they are ohana. They will prevail. Danny straightens up, starts the camaro, heads to the nearest coffee shop, gets provisions for Chin and himself. It’s going to be a long week and its time, time for Danny to do what he does best.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as Danny walks into HPD, the sight instantly makes him stupidly furiously angry. He could deal with the empty streets, the populous sleeping soundly in their beds, the coffee shops that didn’t yet know that their order would be irrevocably changed for the foreseeable future. He could just barely deal with laid back baristas making small talk, not knowing that they had all been suddenly thrown into another dimension. A dimension where he was in Hawaii and his baby girl was on a plane to New Jersey and Steve, Steve was not by his side badgering the hell out of him. And Kono,  a morning where Kono wouldn’t be starting her day on a board was just wrong, so fucking wrong. He could deal with that, with the populous not yet catching on, but this, this calm, collected skeleton crew of the HPD was more than he could take. He wanted to lash out, scream at them that this was not okay, this was nothing to be stoic about, this was wrong, all of it wrong. His whole fucking world was wrong and why could no one else see it.

Thankfully, Chin’s superhuman powers came to the rescue a-fucking-gain because just as he was about to sacrifice his coffee to the good of humanity by flinging across the room and demanding they all see the writing on the god damn wall, Chin walked in. Chin-Ho walked right up to him, looked him in the eye, said _I know, Danny, I know_ , led them to his office where the weight of the goddamn world was visible on his shoulders.

And that slumped Chin, that confirmation that at least someone knew, appreciated just how fucked up, wrong the world had become in the last few hours, took the explosive edge off his anger. Gave him the funnel to focus and channel that anger, the purpose to hand Chin his coffee, thank him for giving them a chance. Give him a little of the freaking mountain of appreciation he deserved for thinking quickly, giving them this platform for making their ohana whole again.

“Jesus. I don’t tell you this enough, but you’re fucking awesome. How in the hell did you get all this, you in charge of Steve’s case, neither of us kicked off the damn case or hell the force for being too involved, your own damn office space, so fucking quickly?”

And Chin can’t seem to help the edges of his mouth turning up a little as he replies, “Guilt, it’s a powerful motivator, brah.”

…

Getting Steve off the hook for killing the Governor Jameson turned out to be the easy part. Once you started looking, the physical evidence just didn’t add up. Between the taser burns on Steve’s neck and the lack of gunpowder residue on his gloves and clothes, there was just no way that Steve had fired that weapon. But then there was the B&E at the governor’s mansion, assaulting the police officers when he fled the first time, again when he broke into the mansion, the murder of Laura Hills. And they could probably get him off that, too, but then there was Kono.

It turns out that Steve had one piece of good luck that night. They had the governor’s fingerprints on Steve’s cell, calling up the options screen on the recording app but never fully pressing delete in her haste. Which means they heard her admitting to having Laura Hills killed off, heard her _I’m loyal to those who are loyal to me_ – the neither accepting nor denying Steve’s charge that she was in league with Wo Fat, heard her obviously talking to someone else in the room after the sound of the taser and Steve’s body falling to the floor. But they also had Steve, the all-encompassing idiot, trying to put all of the fucking pieces together in one go, mentioning the missing money in the evidence locker by name, the governor saying that yes, she had replaced the money to protect Steve. Combine that with the first hand witness to Kono at the scene, and Steve and Kono were going away for grand larceny. There were dozens of witnesses to Chin and Danny’s whereabouts at that particular moment, as well. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to put it all together with the burned bills HPD now had in custody and the sudden release of Chin from the bomb-collar.

So they were left with the impossible choice of exonerating Steve from the murder charges, all of the murder charges, only to throw both Kono and Steve under the bus for the missing money from the evidence locker. And fuck if they were going to let them take the brunt of it, go down for it alone. They’d shown Steve once, they’d show him again. It was all or nothing. Their ohana was in this fucking mess together. So it was up to Chin and Danny and Jenna, fuck if Danny hadn’t forgotten about Jenna for a little while there, to work every other option possible before bringing that recording to the attention of their superiors.

Looking over the crime scene notes from the governor’s mansion for the fifty-seven billionth time, Danny idly thinks that if they could just find unshakeable proof that the Governor was guilty, then they could at least take the assaults off the list. Hell, he knows most of those cops, knows that if they could just listen to that fucking recording, then they would drop any and all charges against him. It was his parents for fuck’s sake. Who wouldn’t be all fucked up in the head over someone you trusted murdering your fucking parents? Because really, really he just wanted one, a single thing crossed off the damn list of everything that was wrong with his world, just one. Why was that too fucking much to ask for?

Hell, right now he just wanted to see him. He wanted to see the fucking giant and make sure that he knew, knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had people in his corner. Danny knew the shithole that was Steve’s subconscious, had been fighting it, inserting his happiness into Steve’s life whether he was invited or not. Longboards on the lanai, running commentary over tivoed baseball games, weekends with Grace spent on Steve’s stretch of sand. And he had seen Steve smile, laugh more on his off time instead of spending it cleaning and swimming and running within an inch of his life. He was teaching Steve how to enjoy his time not working and he really didn’t want to see that light leave his partner’s eyes when he had tried so fucking hard to put it there.

But they were playing it close to chest, trying to not jeopardize his spot on Chin’s team by not showing how fucking obviously he was in Steve’s corner. How irrevocably he was committed to getting Steve out of jail no matter what he had done. He was trying, fucking trying to show his face as a cop whose sole interest was the truth and nothing but the truth so fucking help him God. Which meant Chin was the one to question Steve, to see him through three inches of glass. Chin was the one got to see if he was eating or if the light had fled from his eyes completely or if he was just burying it, holding it close via closing himself off from all emotion. But Danny, Danny had to know, had to know that Steve knew he had him in his corner.

And so Danny did the only thing he knew how. He shared the things that gave him hope. He sent Steve a letter. Well, letter was pushing it. He sent Steve an envelope with two photos and two sentences. One was a photo of the team that the waitress had taken the last time they had gone out to celebrate the closing of another case. They were all smiling, pressed together, arms surrounding, whole. The second was a picture he had taken himself, of Steve and Grace at the water’s edge. Grace was beaming up at Steve like he was the coolest person she had ever met and Steve, the huge freaking goof, was looking down at his daughter like her happiness was the most important thing in the world to him. These were the things holding Danny’s life together, if he could just make Steve remember, give him something to hold close. And two sentences. _Remember Meka, I will not let this shit stand. I’ve got you, babe._


	3. Chapter 3

It didn’t really hit Danny until the first weekend that he would have had Grace. Exactly what (whose absence) felt like missing a limb, some vital part of himself gone, and what (who) really didn’t. He still began and ended everyday on the phone with his baby girl, whether she was half an island or an ocean plus a continent away, that didn’t change. He spoke to Rachel about as often as he had before she had come to him for advice, for support, during her failing marriage to Stan and they had fallen together.

Not having her around felt normal, felt like how life just was. He’d been thinking a lot lately, thinking about timelines and children and how and why they’d broken up in the first place. About how love just wasn’t enough in the end. How nothing had really changed. Danny was still endlessly devoted to being a cop, would never give it up. Wasn’t he proving it right now? Didn’t the tense edge to Rachel’s voice when she asked him when he was coming to Jersey sound more than a little familiar? How long before the same old arguments started up? How long before Rachel realized that she couldn’t take being a cop’s wife any longer? Again? Love had never been their problem and now it seemed that they had both had a lesson to learn. A marriage can’t survive on love alone and it can’t survive without it.

And the thing was Danny wasn’t even sure they had that anymore. Sure, he loved Rachel, he always would. There would never be a time when he wouldn’t see her and feel intensely. The thing, the crux of it, was that he’s not so sure that the feeling hasn’t morphed into something closer to friendship – affection, respect. She’s the mother of his child, children now, they would always be connected. He’s just not sure that that level is anywhere near enough to hold a marriage together anymore, especially if it wasn’t before. Before – when he had been madly, deeply in love with her. And the thing is, the thing that Danny’s having the hardest time dealing with, the thing that’s bringing all of this shit with Rachel in stark relief, the person whose absence he’s feeling most keenly isn’t his ex-wife/girlfriend, hell it isn’t even his kid. It’s Steve.

Danny’s gotten used to the aching wound in his chest that is life without seeing his baby girl everyday. He’s dealt with it for long enough that he knows, understands, has a deep abiding respect for the loss, the ache. What he’s not sure he can ever fully understand, deal with, adapt to, is how Steve not being by his side feels like he’s missing his shadow. Life without Steve is like missing a fundamental piece of what makes him human, sane. He always thought that he was the one keeping Steve from flying off the handle, but these days, just. There are days when seeing the pain in Chin’s eyes is the only thing keeping Danny from going batshit insane, from burning even McGarrett’s ninja-SEAL fuck the rules playbook and breaking them all the fuck out of prison, stealing a private jet and whisking everyone he loves away to private island somewhere where no one can ever touch them ever again.

(And he's been paying attention, he's pretty sure that if he called up certain not-so-murderous-but-still-criminal parts of his acquaintance that he so totally could pull it off. He might have to sell his soul a little bit, but fuck it would be so worth it. And really, its not like he could sell too much of his soul between Gracie and the ninja-SEAL-giant-moron, he's not so sure the he owns that much of it anymore. Gracie, the moron idiot fucker, Chin and Kono, and fucking hell Hawaii probably has some of his soul too at this point. Yup, the goddamn volcanic land mass snuck up and stole a part of his soul when he was too busy chasing the surprisingly mobile criminal underground, running for his life or piecing together the McGarrett past on her cliffs.)

And that, that right there, is the reason why he’s keeping all of this shit to himself. Because as much as Danny is ready to explode out of his skin with how wrong the whole fucking world is, seeing Chin look so broken all the fucking time is enough to make him stitch a few more granny knots into his sanity and hold on. Because Chin spends more time at the jail then he does at the office, which is almost triple the time he spends at home. And Danny just doesn’t have the heart to share any more fuckupedness. He’ll keep it locked inside if only to make it one less thing that Chin has to think about each day.

 

…

And Kono, ninja-ette extraordinaire, just fuck. It turns out that having a family full of law enforcement isn’t good, isn’t an in, it’s just a fucking pain in the ass. Because the judge assigned to Kono’s bail hearing just happens to be a long lost 71st cousin or some such shit. And the fucker, for fear of being accused of making concessions for family set her bail stupidly, ridiculously high. And Chin, bless his guilt-complex-ridden soul. Danny had to almost bodily restrain him from sprinting straight from the court room to hand his fucking lease over again to get the money. Danny had to restrain him long enough to entertain another less pain inducing, potentially life breaking option – calling Ben Bass.

Because yeah, Ben and Kono were on more of the off again part of their seemingly endless on again off again shit, but Kono had been instrumental at finding his father’s killer and that meant something. Hopefully, it meant enough to secure a stupidly, ridiculously high temporary loan.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s an ordinary awful so fucking wrong Tuesday when Danny notices that his phone is beeping. After a little investigation he find that he has a voicemail from his older sister Ann, the same sister that he commandeered into keeping Rachel sane in the Williams household. _Now this is good, just damn great, right when I need to read you the damn riot act for your stupidity, you are off doing something noble like fixing your ohana. Yes, Grace has been filling me in. Rach too. When you have at least an hour or two to receive the tongue lashing that you are fully aware that you deserve –we are Williamses we know guilt – you better damn well call me, baby brother._ Danny breathes out a sigh of relief that it seems no one has died, but then is immediately wary of the forced calm, the hardness in his sister’s voice at the mention of Rachel.

But there is another part of him that is so fucking grateful that someone else knows, that if Rachel confided in Annie, then he doesn’t have to keep it all in anymore. Because there are days, fuck if there aren’t days, when Danny feels ready to just break down and fucking cry in the middle of HPD. When he is overwhelmed by the sheer length and breadth of the why the world is so fucking wrong it physically hurts list in his head. And yeah, Chin and Kono and Jenna know a good portion of it, but fuck it’s gonna feel cathartic to be able to talk about the rest. And yeah, Annie’s right, he’s been waiting, just waiting for someone to figure out how seriously he fucked up, because there is a large fucking part of his list that is his fault, riding on his shoulders and he’s tired, fucking exhausted of acting like its not.

And isn’t it a kick in the balls that Kono is the one. Kono, the one currently shouldering the blame for their collective actions, Kono’s the one who figures out how close Danny is to breaking. Figures out how hard he’s taking not being able to see Steve at all. And fuck if she’s not the best of them, because she’s out on bail for less than 24 hours before she’s demanding to know why on earth Danny can’t make just one social visit to see his partner. Noticing how frail and thin Danny’s act is, how his flailing is just for show because he’s so damn tired of pretending that he’s okay with the way the world is so fucking broken right now.

And then she’s asking about Grace and she finds out that it’s been 18 days, 2 hours, and 24 minutes since he’s seen his daughter and only about 19 hours after that since he last saw Steve being shoved bodily into a squad car. And it’s that look on her face, that sympathy for him when she’s so far into the hole, she doesn’t have the badge that she worked so fucking hard for on her hip, that nearly does him in. Kono hugs him and he nearly breaks down right fucking there so he doesn’t hug her back, closes his eyes staying stiff and brittle in her arms until she doesn’t even spare a glance to check with Chin, sends him home in the middle of the day to have a few hours to call his daughter at a time when she’s not supposed to be sleeping.

So that’s how it happens that he hasn’t even been at HPD for an hour and he’s already getting back in the camaro and driving toward home. Except its absolutely beautiful outside, just like it always fucking is, and his airless shithole apartment is the last place he wants to be. He doesn’t want to be caged in right now, he wants to talk to his beautiful perfect daughter and look at the endlessly blue sky, wants to have a fucking Fievel moment with his baby girl. Wants the connection of knowing that they’re still under the same sky even if they’re so fucking far apart that she might as well be on another planet. But she’s not. She’s in New Jersey with his Mom and his Pop and his sisters and his insanely large clan of a family, she’s with nearly everyone that shares his bloodline but him. And fuck if that isn’t comforting and so fucking painful at the same time.

And so he drives past the turn to his little piece of shithole paradise and points himself in the direction of the one place he’s been avoiding these past weeks. He’s been avoiding it to keep up that damn image, to cut himself off cold turkey, maybe even to punish himself for fucking up so severely. Because if he’d been there, if he hadn’t left Steve alone that night, he knows, he fucking knows that he is possibly the only person left on the fucking planet that could have stopped McGarrett from going apeshit. And that power, that knowledge makes him so damn guilty that he let Steve down when he needed him most. But Danny’s at the point where even the guilt can’t make him stay away from the place he most wants to be right now.

Kamekona and his band of familial cronies have been doing the upkeep on the McGarrett household keeping it open, aired out, ready for Steve to come home at any moment. So Danny sends a quick text telling him that’s he’s got today covered. The reply is immediate, _bout time, brah_. Danny reads the text as he uses the key that’s been on his ring for months now, punches in the code that he knows better than Steve himself, and finally breathes in at least a little of what he’s been missing. He wonders when everyone got so much smarter than him. Maybe they always were.

The first coherent thought that enters Danny’s mind once he’s settled in his chair on the lanai, feet in the sand, tie gone, button down open, is that’s he’s really fucking tired of every single emotion he feels being edged with pain and guilt. Because being in Steve’s house makes him feel simultaneously warmer and more hollow. Like the edges of the Steve shaped hole inside him are a little less defined, but somehow simultaneously deeper. It’s the same way he feels when he talks to Gracie. And every other damn emotion from the accompanying elation and guilt of seeing Kono walk out of that damn cell to watching the pain fly through Chin’s eyes every time his eyes are drawn to the empty spot on her hip.

So Danny follows his orders and calls up his daughter and catches her helping his Ma fix dinner. He asks her to go sit on the back porch, closes his eyes and pictures every turn and doorframe she passes through. For the first half hour, Danny barely has to say a word, just keeps his eyes closed and lets his daughter’s adventures wash over him. Hears about his nephews and nieces who are now out of school, about the city and the zoo and plans to go to the shore together.

He knows she’ll be constantly comparing it to the patch of sand he’d see if he opened his eyes right now. Knows that as much as he claims to be a lover of the Atlantic, it’ll never compare to the memories of Kono and Chin and Steve teaching his baby girl to surf. He pictures their last team cook out. His baby girl grinning like he’d given her the world when he immediately let her run out into the surf to join Kono. Chin right behind them both, looking more at ease than Danny’s ever seen him since IA refused his claims and the pain of years of hiding started to ease.

And then his way too smart baby girl turns her investigative skills on him. He tells her the good news about Kono, about her spending her first six hours out from behind bars in the ocean. About him taking a short reprieve and watching her for a couple hours just to convince himself that this small piece of the world is right again. He talks about seeing Chin smile again and how Kamekona asks about her every time he sees him. Skirts around things he can’t put into age appropriate words like how much it hurts that he can’t see, touch, know that she and Steve are both safe and whole. Refuses to ask after Rachel, afraid he’ll ask leading questions about cravings and give everything away. Confesses that he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to come out and see the clan. Doesn’t know when he’ll, they’ll be able to get Uncle Steve out. Tells her that Danno loves her and hears everything she’s not saying.

Hears her holding back from asking questions that she can tell even without seeing him will hurt more than help. She tells him to remember to eat his vegetables and to take care of himself and to tell Uncle Chin that she loves and misses him and for Aunt Kono to expect her call. She pauses then and he can almost hear her gathering up her courage before she tells him to take care of Uncle Steve. His baby girl tells him that she misses him but that she understands that Uncle Steve needs him, needs him to keep him safe and make him smile and teach him how to make food and life fun. Asks quietly, like its something she’s not allowed, if her Danno will give Steve a hug from her next time he sees him. And he can tell from her wording that he never needed to tell her, that she fucking knows that he hasn’t seen him, has heard his silences loud and clear. So, even if his voice cracks, he promises that he will, plays along with the charade, tells her again to remember that Danno loves her. Adds on a whim that her ohana loves and misses her, too. Asks her to tell his Ma and Pop that he’ll call them soon. Says I love you one last time before he ends the call, before he breaks down.

But he doesn’t, Danny holds it together, concentrates on the sand under his feet, the smell of the ocean, the presence of Steve’s home and Steve’s things. Takes in the familiar lay out as he slowly makes his way into the kitchen, takes a Longboard that still resides in the fridge and makes his way back out to what he considers his chair on the lanai. He opens the bottle, takes a long swallow and lets the nostalgia brought on by this place and this beer and the man who should be sitting next to him break over him. Lets his mind fill in the image – Steve leaning back, shirt already stupidly off as Danny watches his throat in his peripheral vision as he takes his first necessary inhalation of alcohol after a hard day. He can see Steve turn to him and smile that goofy, relaxed smile that says _hey brah, we did it again, who the fuck would’ve guessed it_. And depending on the day that led them to this moment, Danny would either launch into a spirited explanation of why the fuck they did make it and it is certainly no thanks to your fucking moronic ways or he might just grin back. He might let the turn of his lips say _you know I didn’t, but what the hell man, I’m glad we did_ without saying a word.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I have yet to see any of the second season and therefore it has no bearing on anything that happens in this fic. Also, apologies for the horridly long wait. Summer was more complicated than I expected.

Danny lets himself revel in this allowed moment of calm, this brief respite of memory for one last moment. Sprawled on his chair on Steve’s lanai, a place that feels more like his, more like home than his own damn apartment, he lets out one last slow breath in the past and comes back to the here and now. Firmly in the shitty so wrong present, the next thing on Danny’s list is to call Annie.

It rings twice before a familiar voice answers. And if Annie were any more of a Williams, it would be a neon sign blazing on her forehead. In true fashion, she doesn’t offer a greeting or even attempt the slightest small talk, just jumps to the opening gambit that Danny’d bet a month’s pay she’s been rehearsing in her head ever since she left the message on his phone.

 _You fucked up, baby boy. You fucked up royal._

As she pauses for dramatic effect, as Williamses are wont to do, Danny momentarily contemplates objecting to the nickname. He is no longer the toddler with star struck eyes begging to be let into the game. But he resists, like he knew he would and simply slouches further into the deck chair, closes his eyes, and waits.

 _Rachel? Really? Because I know you, baby brother. I know you better than anyone in the world and you know that that isn’t an exaggeration.  I know all of your dirty secrets and never ending guilt trips and dreams that you can’t quite put into words. I **know** you, Danny and I totally didn’t see this coming. Because Rachel, Rachel is so so bad for you, baby brother. I hate to say this, but she’s always been bad for you, kiddo. What you need, what all of us need is someone to totally give ourselves over to. Someone who we can say “you’re mine” and it’s okay because we’re already theirs. And Rach, Rach will never be anybody’s. She’s too fiercely independent to be anyone’s other than her own. And you, baby brother, none of us ever could give anything less than everything we are. It’s just how we’re wired. _

She pauses on a sigh to collect her thoughts and Danny can’t help but be a little afraid by the lack of explosive anger that he’d been expecting. This calm, quiet Annie is not one that he knows well and from the person he really does know best, that is terrifying.

 _I just… I don’t get it Danny. How in the world… how in this or any universe did you think this was going to work? I know, I know, kiddo, how desperately you want to be a family, again, how badly you want to wake up every morning and see blessed Grace. I know, but there is a reason that you are no longer together and that reason is that you two are better friends than lovers. You are raising a wonderful daughter, Gracie is dream, but even she remembers the fights, the barely veiled resentment simmering beneath every single utterance. She notices things. She notices everything. I’ll come back to that. And I’m not even going to mention the fact that Rach is married. I’m not going to go into blistering detail about the example you’re setting, the double standards you’re setting for Grace. Really, I’m not. I could, but the real crux, the real thing I want to know is what in the hell has changed? Rachel couldn’t stand you walking out the door everyday and never knowing if you’d come back. She couldn’t stand the empty house when you’re on a tough case or hell, the constant worry when you go undercover. You’re a cop, Danny. Are you gonna stop being a cop? Have you suddenly decided to give up the career that you worked and studied and earned and base your entire self image around? Are you finally gonna make Aunt Ethel happy and become the lawyer she was sure you’d become from the moment you first told her exactly why the “because I’m your elder” defense wasn’t a valid argument and would never hold up in court? Are you, baby brother? Because I was hoping I would have heard about it._

“No, no, of course not. Anne, Annie, we talked about this, Rach and I, do you think we didn’t? We are adults, we didn’t just …” Danny tries to defend himself, but it seems that this was wrong course of action, must have lit the fuse, because Annie just explodes.

 _No, you do not get to talk, not now! Do you want to know why you don’t get to talk, Daniel? You don’t get a say because that, your utter refusal to see that you and Rachel ending it was the best damn thing for all of you, that is only half of it. Remember when I said that your baby girl listens, notices, sees everything? She’s been confiding in me too. We talk, Gracie and I. But what she told me is something that I already knew. That everyone in the damn family already knows, everyone in your ohana, and probably everyone on that damn cluster of islands already fucking knows. Everyone it seems but you. I thought you knew. I thought you had to know, you telegraphed it in every call and every email and every action. But you never would have done this if you’d known. You’re not that cruel, not that much of a coward. You never would have done this if you’d really known. I know you’ve never been overly in control when you’re heart’s involved, but how could you not know?_ And Danny can’t help but tense up for what he knows, knows will break his entire world into pieces. Knows by Annie’s tone as her anger bleeds out and her voice gentles. _Don’t you know, baby brother? Don’t you know that you’re in love with him? That you’re in love with Steve?_

And there it is. Everything Danny’s been struggling, refusing to put into words laid out before him. And he can’t help it, can’t help the choked sound that escapes him. Can’t help the vocal whimper of a soundtrack to everything breaking and reforming inside him, giving another layer of fucked up to everything he’s done. Everything he did and didn’t do and everything he let happen.

“Fuck.”

 _Like I told you, baby brother. You fucked up royal this time. You just need to stop thinking, stop thinking and feel. Where does your heart want to be? It’s not with Rachel, hell it isn’t even here with the clan. Its there, isn’t it? Your heart knows that you belong there now, right beside him, bitching about pineapple and sun and loving every second of it. I told you, baby boy. I know you. And I’ve heard everything you’ve been saying and implying and feeling around for the last year. You love him, Danny._ Annie is quiet, reassuring, confident. There is no more confusion or accusation in her tone, only deep knowledge, surety. 

“I… I… shit. You’re right. You’re always right. Fuck if you aren’t always right. But… fuck. I fucked everything up, Annie. I slept with Rachel. She needed someone to talk to and I was there, she’s family so I was there and then, then we just fell into it. It was so easy, so simple, so… comfortable. But you’re right, you’re always fucking right. I love her and I’ll always love her, but, but I’m not in love with her. Haven’t been for awhile. Shit, shit, shit. And then Steve, fuck, _Steve_. It’s all my fault, Annie. I could have stopped him. Fuck, I’m probably the only one that could have stopped him and I didn’t. I saw him breaking. I saw the warning signs. I saw him standing on the edge of that cliff, knew, I know him, knew that he’d probably jump and I walked away anyway. I fucking walked away when he needed me the most to keep him together. Left him alone when I knew, knew that the crazy would win out. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m in love with him, oh fuck. Annie, just, what do I… fuck.”

 _Baby boy, you fix it. You put it all out there. You do what we all do best. You lay it all out there and take what’s coming to you. Tell the complete and honest truth, put your heart back out on your sleeve where it belongs and what is meant to work out will. Its gonna hurt, its gonna hurt to look in all of their eyes and see the realization of how you fucked up, but we’re all human, Danny. These people are your family and if they’re half as amazing as you and Grace say they are, then they’ll forgive you._

“But, but Rachel, the baby…”

 _Yeah, I know, baby boy. Just… she fucked up, too, you know. It took both of you to do that. Tell her the truth, Danny. She doesn’t want to be in a loveless marriage anymore than you do, little brother._

Danny lets out a slow breath, lets his brain take in Annie’s advice, lets himself start to formulate a plan. Feels the weight of everything that is fucked up and wrong in his world get a little lighter as he organizes it into more manageable tasks, lists of things he can fix if only he just sucks it up, lets his pride go and admits. He can do that. Can it be that easy? Yes, yes, he can do this. He still has to get Steve out of jail, get Kono off the hook, talk to Rachel, figure out a plan. And it’ll kill him to be a part time parent to another child, but it’ll kill them all more to pretend that they’re a family when they’re clearly not, for another child to have to grow up in a house with parents who can’t speak without screaming.

 _It’ll be better this time. You both know you’ve fucked up. You’re friends now. Get the delusions out of the way early. You can do this, you can figure this out, baby brother, no matter what happens._

“Thank you. You have no idea. Just, thank you… when did you get so smart, Annie-bear?” Danny can’t help but ask, show his gratitude for his big sister somehow seeing the pile of shit on his shoulders from an ocean and a country away and helping to fix it, fix him. Just for knowing him all too well, like she always has.

 _Always was, baby boy. Always was. Glad that you’re finally noticing. Now I’ve got to get some rest, kiddo. And you’ve got an ocean worth of plans to make. Night, baby brother, I love you. Don’t forget to call the ‘rents. I’ll hear about it if you don’t._

“Love you, Annie and really, just, thank you” Danny can’t help but reply again, try to give a little back.

 _You, too, baby brother, you too._ And then she’s gone and Danny opens his eyes to the afternoon sun sparkling off the water, a half mirage of Steve and Gracie playing in the waves. And he knows, knows that Annie is right on so many levels. This place, this place and these people, this place and these people and this infuriating man are his home now, where he belongs.

Danny stands up, feels lighter than he has since that horrible horrible day and walks back into Steve’s home. The house he hopes to be his home one day, if he’s finally being honest with himself. But one step a time. Step one is lists. Lots and lots of lists. Because he can do this. He will do this and really, everything, something will work out in the end and he’ll deal with it. He’ll put everything he has, everything he is out there and he will deal with the consequences because he has to, because that is how the real world works. He will stop hiding what he wants and needs and sees and feels and whatever works out, will. And he will deal because no matter what happens, its gotta be better than the fucked up tangle of lies and guilt and shame he finds himself in right now.


	6. Chapter 6

As a reward for not breaking the fuck down and for making a game plan, Danny does exactly what he wants to do within reason. At the moment, that means sleeping in McGarrett’s insanely comfortable made-for-freaking-moron-giants bed. He knows that it’s a bit creepy stalkerish, even for his and Steve’s apparent lack of physical boundaries, but he just can’t help himself and what’s the point of a reward if isn’t something you weren’t supposed to have in the first place. But the point is that Danny is better rested then he’s felt in ages and there is at least one person in the wide world he is currently not lying to in the slightest and that just feels so fucking good. Is this bright spot in his fucked up so wrong life, so he thinks about Annie and Gracie and the possibility of Steve and smiles, starts the morning smiling for the first time in what feels like ages. Talks to Gracie while he drives back to the shithole and digs out his most obnoxious tie, the tie from which the most ridiculous Steve face was born. And as he finishes his morning ritual with his baby girl and rolls up his sleeves, Danny feels the beginning of a beautiful beautiful emotion that he hadn’t expected to feel again for a very long time – hope.

Danny arrives at their corner of HPD and purposefully strides over to where Chin, Kono, and Jenna are seated around the one long table in the room looking over crime scene photos for the 87 billionth time. They each greet him as he enters, but he ignores them all and stops in front of Kono’s chair.

“Up. Up, you. Yes, now. Up.” Danny can’t stop his grinning, gestures what he wants Kono to do and she gives him an indulgent yet amused smile in return, complying with his wishes. He immediately swoops her up in a massive, encompassing bear hug that has them all laughing and free for just a moment like they haven’t in too long. When he puts her down, he just looks her straight in the eye and says with as much sincerity and gratitude as he can manage, “thank you. Just. Thank you. I needed that. You have no idea.”

Kono is quite literally bouncing. “Don’t thank me yet, brah. I’m glad you’re wearing Steve’s favorite tie because you’ve got a date in an hour.” She smirks at Danny’s gaping, speechless mouth. Because Danny just can’t, just freaking can’t understand how he can be so fucked up and yet have such wonderful, amazing, beautiful people in his life.

“Have I told you recently that you are my second favorite person in the entire universe? I’m gonna, I’m gonna buy you a pony or a car or a… _Kono_.” And he can’t help the way his voice breaks or how he sweeps her up into another hug and twirls her around before placing her back down, sheen in his eyes as she affectionately calls him a liar.

And that’s how he is immediately shuffled back out of HPD by knowing eyes and smug grins and into the camaro headed toward Steven. Danny refuses to let himself think about, imagine, predict what Steve will look like, what his emotional state will be. Will he be closed off completely or happy to see him or convinced that Danny had abandoned him given his lack of visiting? No, he is not thinking about this. He is already doing everything he possibly can to get the moron out of jail, but at least now, now he can have visual proof that Steve is alive and in one piece.

Danny pulls into the parking lot twenty minutes early. His mind reeling with pretty much equal parts elation and blind panic. He loves Steve. He had just put a name to it last fucking night for the very first time, but that didn’t make it any less true. And it didn’t make the fact that he has felt it for the last year or so any less valid, he’d just never put a name to it, never let himself think about the need to touch and heal and yes, fucking cherish before now. He just, he can’t let any of it out just yet. He has to fix things first. Fix things with Rachel, get Steve out of this god damn place, put his life back in order. Damn it all to hell, he is not going to confess his undying love in a god damn prison. He refuses, flat out refuses to make his life anymore of ridiculous fucking movie. Breathe, you can do this. You get to see Steve. Breathe. Okay.

Once Danny gives up his gun and goes through security, he is immediately met by a guard who honestly could be Kono in male form, ten years from now and a little on the bulky side. Its actually more than a little creepy. He immediately gets a warm smile and a firm handshake.

“You must be Danny Williams, kaikuahine told me all about you. Here to see McGarrett, brah? Just follow me.” Danny is sufficiently distracted trying not to stare and surmise which familial relation of Kono’s this can be or if this is her clone, but he’s older, so is she his clone? And that’s just disturbing, but the point is that the effect is damn eerie and it takes all of Danny’s concentration not to stare rudely. Or that is the excuse he makes to himself for not noticing that Kono-clone, K2, dude that is eerie as fuck, whatever, isn’t taking him to see his partner via awkward phone cup and string rejects and glass partitions. Instead when K2 stops short, he unlocks one of the interrogation rooms.

And before Danny can even ask a question, peer over his shoulder to get a first glimpse of his partner, wonder if he’s being taken off to some out of the way corner to get shived, K2 turns around and faces him, blocking the door. He clasps Danny’s hand and gives a hearty shake saying “You’ve got half an hour, Detective. I’ll be right out here if you need me.” He adds a supremely lacking in subtle wink and Danny can feel something small and cold slip into his grasped hand just before he is summarily shoved through the magically open door.

Danny stumbles, and really K2’s a big dude – don’t judge, and when he looks up, he can’t suppress the instant inhale of breath, the simultaneous oh shit and oh thank God and finally. Because this is partner, not three feet away, alive and breathing and right fucking there. And before Danny can figure out the right thing to say to your partner who’s been framed for multiple counts of murder and been in jail for two weeks, the same partner who you just realized you are madly, frighteningly in love with, if there even is a right thing to say, they don’t make greeting cards or instruction manuals for this shit, you know – but Danny’s mouth works before his brain yet again, and what comes out is a cracked, breathless, disbelieving, and even fucking reverent to his own ears utterance of his partner’s name.

“ _Steve_.” His head had been hanging down, eyes possibly shut, possibly staring down at his own hands chained to the metal table, probably figuring all the twenty seven billion ways he could escape using only what was in this room, while still being chained to the god damn table. But when he hears Danny’s voice, his head snaps up like he’s on fire, his face a picture of pure disbelief covering the hope that probably only Danny and possibly Mary would see. And Danny’s body has just stopped waiting for instructions from his brain, because he is already reaching for Steve, touch absolutely fucking necessary right damn now, yesterday, god damn it, when he notices that glint from what is apparently a key that K2 had slipped into his hand.

Danny’s brain and the rest of his body stutters to a halt, a foot away from Steve and then re-engages with a start as he practically dives at Steve’s cuffs. “We need, we need to get Kono a pony or or or do little Hawaiian girls even dream of ponies or is it dolphins or some other random aquatic wonderland creature. Because that, that’s what we need to find for her, because that woman is fantastic, beyond fantastic and we need to find some long lost childhood dream and fucking fulfill it, because my gratitude, her awesomeness is on that level and really Steve, she deserves it. She does…” And apparently Danny is babbling, because he just can’t handle this situation the gratitude and the love in the horror of this place and the insanity going on inside him right now, but then Steve’s hands are free and Danny is manhandling him upright and then hugging him for all he’s worth.

And Steve, Steve must still have had disbelief face on for the whole babbling and unlocking and manhandling, because his body is stiff and unforgiving and just confusion is coming off him in waves. But Danny doesn’t let go, simply cannot find it in him do anything but hold on desperately, and apparently keep babbling as he tunes back into himself finishing in a rush of “missed you, missed you so fucking much you gigantic oaf. Jesus, its me, its really me, you moron.” And that must be Steve’s cue, because he shudders once, twice, all freaking over and then its like he collapses into Danny, clinging with an even greater desperation, breathing Danny in like he’s been fucking drowning all this time.

After what is probably a good five minutes of them just holding each other, Danny gentles his grip, smooths out Steve’s shirt where he’s been grasping it, feels Steve do the same and takes a step back. He can feel Steve start to stiffen up again, trying to step away completely, but Danny stops that with his words. “I, no, don’t fucking go anywhere, not yet, I just, I just want to get a look at you.” And when Danny looks up, finally looks Steve in the eye, notices the bruising around it, is reaching up and cupping Steve’s face and brushing a thumb over the swell of his cheekbone before conscious thought even enters his brain. Steve leans into the touch and its like watching a curtain rise, a banner fall, a bright blinding light getting turned off and your eyes adjusting to everything that is currently, has always been hiding behind it, Danny doesn’t fucking know if any of that makes sense. All he knows is that he just watched all of Steve’s defense mechanisms fall away because of one gentle touch of his hand. And hope blooms like the most beautiful fucking flower Danny’s ever seen inside him, because what lives behind Steve’s eyes is everything, every fucking thing that Danny’s never admitted to himself that he wanted from Steve.

And Danny can’t stop the “Oh, babe…” that escapes him or the way he’s sure everything is mirrored in his own eyes. And he can’t help his hands, roaming Steve’s body, cataloging the differences, how much thinner Steve is, how Steve’s jaw clenches when Danny’s hands run over his ribs, how Steve’s breath catches for another reason entirely when Danny’s hands pause on his hipbones, brush a gentle fleeting arc with his thumbs before falling to his sides. Steve closes his eyes, leans into every touch, even the ones that obviously pain him, starved for gentleness, touch, compassion, and hell if Danny doesn’t hope, starved for him, too. His eyes flutter open when Danny’s exploration stops and Steve starts to do a visual sweep of his own, memorizing Danny as if he wants to catalog every feature, pass the time later by recalling every detail, Danny knows the feeling.

And Danny’s watching Steve’s face, that’s how he can tell when he looks down and a moment of amused revulsion crosses his features. The face is so ridiculous, so fucking Steve, that Danny lets out a pained snort, a manic giggle. “It’s the tie, right? I wore it just for you. I know it’s your favorite.” And this time Steve snorts, face wide and happy and Danny’s favorite fucking Steve, his Steve, when he answers. “My favorite? You must of gotten me confused with someone else, Danno. Or have I been gone so long that you’ve already forgotten me? Already replaced me with… someone who must be impressively color blind.” And there it is, the rest of the package, Steve’s bickering voice and Steve’s face, and Steve not stepping back, in his personal space like he fucking belongs there, because he god damn does. And its not even funny, but Danny just can’t stop the relief from bubbling out of him in the form of slightly manic laughter. And then he’s just shaking, head leaning against Steve’s chest, whispering “its alright, you’re alright, thank fuck” into Steve’s collarbone. And Steve’s chuckling too, just holding him and petting him, a hand sweeping through Danny’s hair and down his back because it seems that ever since Danny started with the touching, neither of them are capable of stopping for long.

Once Danny gets himself under control, steps back once, twice, he hops up to sit on the stupid metal table. The idiot just stares at him, forcing Danny to grab the giant moron’s arm and pull him, manhandle him into a sitting position next to him, a warm weight from shoulder to thigh. And Steve’s still looking at him like today is Christmas and the one gift he always wanted but never expected is right here in front of him, but he can’t blink because it might not be there when he opens his eyes again. Danny makes a mental note to set the BAMF cousins on the scent of everyone who ever let Steve down, let him love then took it away. He vows to never add himself to that list.

But Steve was a stoic almost mute most of the time even when he wasn’t in prison and not accustomed to talking, so Danny takes up the slack like he always does. He tells him about the amazingness incarnate that is Kono, the inhuman dedication and loyalty that is Chin, how Jenna is slowly inching her way into their ohana through her sheer unending presence. About Grace’s adventures visiting his parents, careful not to mention that she is still gone, tells him his Mom’s update on his ridiculous siblings and cousins and uncles and clan and Danny’s favorite memories of each of them. He just keeps talking, keeps leaning, keeps watching his partner, memorizing this moment of calm, of the world falling away and leaving just them like it has so many times before.

Eventually, K2 will knock on the door and Danny will have to give Steve one last bone crushing hug, will have to whisper reassurances while he reattaches Steve’s hands to the table. Will have to remind Steve that his ohana is out there doing their damndest and to just hang on a little longer, they’ll come for him soon. And then he’ll have to touch Steve’s cheek one last time, hear Steve whisper Danno in that reverent disbelieving tone. He’ll have to step back then, and fuck if it won’t be hard to make his hand let go, to tell Steve its time to put his walls back up, stay strong for just a bit longer. He’ll turn around rather than watch him shutter away everything that makes him irrevocably Danny’s in a way that’s always been there but neither of them have ever acknowledged. And then he’ll have walk away, knock on the door to tell K2 that he can come in, give K2 a hearty handshake in return and a gratitude filled smile before he puts on his own mask to walk back out, get into the camaro without Steve by his side.

But that will be then. Now, now he has this, Steve is exactly where he is supposed to be, in Danny’s personal space. Steve is pressed against him and he’s going to live in this moment, take everything he can get, and not let it go until the very last second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really truly sorry that this chapter has been so long in coming. There really isn't an adequate excuse. I'm just sorry. But hopefully you'll forgive me that the rest of the fic will be forthcoming exceptionally soon.
> 
> A continued thank you to everyone who has been reading. I still haven't watched any of this season of H50 because I don't want to spoil my story, but I will. Oh, I will. And a never ending thank you to my amazing sister for beta-ing. She is just fabulous. Any mistakes are still mine.
> 
> Also, this is Danny's tie in my mind - http://www.zazzle.com/yellow_and_black_warning_symbol_on_neon_green_tie-151649335270285308.
> 
> More soon, I promise. -thewhiterose3

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my take on fixing the finale, because I can't not. And no, alas, this is not a part of my epic fluff fest of doom series God Forbid, Feelings. But there is more of that in the works, more fluffy goodness coming soon.
> 
> Unbeta'd.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not mine, blah blah woof woof.


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